


denial

by laurenshappenstobemyhusband



Series: Haikyuu!! One Shots [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 4+1 Things, Fluff, M/M, Tsukishima Kei Being an Asshole, happy birthday tsukishima!!!, mostly platonic stuff but I love me some tsukkiyama, so id say background tsukkiyama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-12-01 19:01:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20868083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurenshappenstobemyhusband/pseuds/laurenshappenstobemyhusband
Summary: 4 times that Tsukishima pretended he didn't care about his teammates and 1 time they called him out on it





	denial

**Author's Note:**

> OK WAS NO ONE GONNA TELL ME THAT TSUKISHIMAS BIRTHDAY WAS SIX DAYS AGO OR WAS I SUPPOSED TO FIND OUT ON AN OUTDATED INSTAGRAM POST MYSELF
> 
> But here's a slightly belated birthday fic for my favorite of all favorite haikyuu characters, crankyshima kei!

I

Tsukishima wasn't sure how he got stuck tutoring the world's most brain dead volleyball player, but there he was, in the comfort of his own house, trying to teach Hinata how to do basic algebra.

"You're not even looking at the right question, dumbass," he said off-handedly. "We're on number 3, not 4. And you're still getting it wrong."

"Sorry," Hinata responded, though he didn't sound sorry at all. "Can you explain the steps again?"

"Guess it must be hard to hear me all the way down there." Sitting, they were about the same height, but Tsukishima treated himself to a short joke about every five minutes. It was the only way he could tolerate the idiocy in front of him.

"Say that again!" 

"Calm down, no need to get riled up. Here, I'll show it to you again."

Tsukishima was glad that Kageyama wasn't there that day, as he didn't think he could deal with two bad tempers at the same time. True, he could stop making fun of him, but where was the fun in that? Besides, he was stockpiling a goldmine of royalty jokes for next session. He ran them by Tadashi and everything, and he agreed that they were hilarious. Then again, he did say that about all of Tsukishima's jokes. He might need a more unbiased joke tester.

Hinata seemed to be trying his hardest not to absorb any of the information, but gradually he made fewer and fewer mistakes. Tsukishima, who got a great pleasure from marking his paper with red pen, was almost disappointed when he saw that Hinata answered the latest question without any errors. 

"Does that mean we can take a snack break?" Hinata asked when Tsukishima gave him back his paper. "I'm starving!"

"How can you eat so much and yet still be so scrawny?" Tsukishima wondered out loud, but led Hinata to the kitchen, throwing him a bag of rice crackers. "Eat these."

"What are these?" Hinata asked, looking at them.

"Don't tell me I need to teach you how to read, too." Tsukishima rolled his eyes. "They're rice crackers. I didn't poison them or anything."

"Yeah, I know what they are!" Hinata said, scowling slightly. "I mean, how'd you know I like them?"

"You ate three bags of them last time I had to tutor you. It's not that hard to realize." Tsukishima forgot sometimes that some people, unlike himself, weren't born with a sense of common sense. Hinata's was particularly bad, especially concerning anything that didn't involve volleyball. It was a little concerning at times.

Hinata was still staring at the bag. Tsukishima wouldn't be surprised if he didn't know how to open it, so he grabbed it from his and tore the top. "There, was that so hard?"

"It's not that," Hinata said, for once unaffected by Tsukishima's taunting. He shoved a few crackers in his mouth and said something that he couldn't understand.

"Chew, swallow, speak, caveman."

"I said, I didn't think you were able to be nice. It's weirding me out."

Tsukishima froze in place. "I wasn't trying to be nice. I didn't want you whining about how there's no food in my house."

"Yeah, but you _did _say that you bought the rice crackers because you know I like them. Seems pretty nice to me," Hinata responded, finishing up the bag. Tsukishima really didn't know where all of those calories went. 

"Stop trying to bother me. You know I get pissed when you reflect your weirdo feelings at me." He caught the pouting look Hinata was giving the empty bag and jerked a thumb behind him. "There are more in the cabinet if you want."

"Really? Thanks!" He grabbed two more bags, like an asshole, and Tsukishima would've called him out on it if he didn't say what he did next. "I wasn't trying to throw you off, either. You have the ability to be nice."

"Yeah, and you have the ability to get more than a 10 on your tests. Back to studying."

"Yes sir!" 

_I'm not nice, am I? No, he's just being an idiot. Must be all the simple math getting to his head._

Still, Tsukishima made sure not to be helpful in any way for the rest of the study session. Wouldn't want Hinata to get the wrong idea.

II

It wasn't often that Tsukishima was alone in a room with Yachi, but when he was, it was because the rest of their team was too busy to help clean up.

"Really, it's alright!" Yachi insisted when Tsukishima mentioned for the third time what assholes they were. "It's not their fault that they happened to all be busy on the same day."

"Still, it's inconsiderate to the point of being pigheaded," Tsukishima responded, throwing a couple of balls into a nearby bin. "You don't need to defend them just because you're the manager."

"I-I know. I harbor no ill will towards them because of this."

"Hmph. Well I do, but that never changes for me, so it's nothing extraordinary."

Yachi giggled, then looked surprised, as if Tsukishima wasn't consistently the funniest person on the team. He supposed she usually didn't laugh because she didn't want to be seen encouraging his mockery of them, but it was almost reassuring to see that his wisecracks didn't go over her head, at least. It was oddly comforting to be around someone who wasn't a complete airhead.

"Still, I find it odd that you're the only one here now. Usually you're always seen with Yamaguchi, or you wouldn't stay behind at all. If you don't mind me asking, why wasn't he able to stay behind today?"

"His sister has a play, so his mom told him to come home right after practice," Tsukishima said automatically. Tadashi was probably the only one he didn't blame for all of this. Kageyama, he was sure, didn't have any valid reason. _He _definitely wasn't studying, that was for sure. "I have no other extracurriculars today, and no one else could help out, so I stayed behind. Your confusion is confusing in itself."

"Well, it doesn't seem quite in your personality to stay behind and help clean up," Yachi said thoughtfully, then jumped back, as if only then realizing what she had said. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean for it to come out that way. It's just that you put up such an uncaring front that I assumed--"

"It's not a front," Tsukishima said, crossing his arms. "I help out just as much as everyone else does, probably even less since I don't stay behind for extra practices. It's nothing unusual."

"Yeah, but it's out of character for you to be so openly nice," Yachi argued, maintaining her view despite the fact that she looked ready to bolt. "It's kind of sweet, honestly, to see you care about something."

_This again?_

He didn't want to talk down to her since she wasn't an idiot like Hinata, so he simply said, "I'm not nice, but I'm not an asshole all the time. Only when people deserve it. You don't deserve to be stuck with cleaning duty alone, so I'm helping out with it. Again, no big deal." He emphasized the last syllables, meeting her eyes head on.

"You're really against being called nice, aren't you?"

"I don't like being told I'm something I'm not. It wouldn't be fair to the people who actually do care about this team if anybody who did a little bit of work was called nice. I just call things like I see them."

Truthfully, Tsukishima could care less about how nice the other people on the team were, but he did care about how they saw him. He could let Yachi continue to think he was doing it for her benefit, but it wouldn't be honest. And if there was one thing Tsukishima prided himself on besides his height, intelligence, and quick wit, it was his honesty.

She didn't seem convinced, but apparently saw just how futile the argument was, because she dropped the topic. Neither of them spoke for the rest of the time, which was fine with Tsukishima, since he worked better in silence. He felt her eyes on his back the whole time, though, and grimaced to himself. At this rate, he'd have the entire team thinking he was a softie like Asahi. That simply wouldn't do.

III

Kageyama was overworking himself. Tsukishima didn't mean to walk in on him in the empty gym, trying to knock down a waterbottle beside him, but he decided to stick around and watch for a bit. Maybe some of that royal talent would rub off on him.

It was soon clear, however, that Kageyama was having an off day. More often than not, Tsukishima would duck down for fear of being hit by a stray volleyball. Kageyama had the power, for sure, but none of the balls were going where he wanted them to go. And he was furious about it.

Tsukishima, true to his nature, was about to walk in and start cracking jokes about it, but he stopped when he saw Kageyama hunched over on the floor. And judging by the way his back was heaving, he was crying.

_I have the worst luck in the history of luck. If I leave now, he'll never know I was here._

But Tsukishima's bad luck didn't stop there, because a second later Kageyama lifted his head, meeting his eyes unintentionally. Neither of them moved, both stuck in their places. Tsukishima didn't know what was going through Kageyama's mind, but he knew his was a long stream of _crapcrapcrapcrapcrap. _

Finally, Kageyama spoke. "What, no wisecracks? This isn't like you, Tsukishima." He was right on that point; normally Tsukishima would be 5 king jokes into his routine. But did every person on the planet think he was the world's crappiest human being?

"I'm not gonna taunt you while you're crying on the floor," Tsukishima said, trying not to sound disgusted. Overt displays of emotion made him extremely uncomfortable. It took every ounce of strength he had to say, "Want to talk about it?"

"Do _you? _Looks like you'd rather be anywhere else." Kageyama's face was basically dry, but he was still sniffing a little. If he started crying again, Tsukishima might've bolted. "Besides, this isn't something you do. It's too--"

"Nice? Yeah, I know." Tsukishima resigned himself to his fate. "Think of me as a backup decent person. When everybody else isn't available, I step up and become an actual human being instead of a walking talking asshole. Don't get used to it."

Kageyama didn't look like he got it, but that was to be expected from him. If the sentence didn't have the word "setter" or "volleyball" in it, there was a fifty percent chance of him comprehending it. Still, Tsukishima forced himself to be patient and sit beside him on the floor. If he was going to act normally for the moment, then he'd need to commit to it.

After a moment of staring, Kageyama began to talk. "It's nothing major, you know. I just get this way sometimes when I have a bunch of really bad sets in a row. The built up frustration sometimes gives me migraines, so that's when I laid down on the floor. I'm okay now, you don't have to worry."

It was clear he was as unsettled by Tsukishima's behavior as Tsukishima was by his. He could've taken this as his cue to leave, but instead he reached into his pocket, pulling out a bottle of Advil.

"I'm not as weirdly attached to this game as you are, so that doesn't happen to me, but I get headaches when I run for too long," he explained in a rush, shaking out two tablets. "Take one now, then if it continues to hurt, take the other. Don't be an idiot and take more than two. You don't want to become an addict or something."

Kageyama still looked bothered, but followed his instructions, sticking the extra pill in his pocket. Tsukishima almost pointed out how gross that was, considering it would be going into his mouth, but shut himself up for once. He stood to his feet, having done all he could in this situation.

"Don't overwork yourself too much, setter," he called on his way out. "You're easily the most talented person on the team to the point of it being annoying. You don't have anything to worry about." As much as it bothered him, he was only telling the truth. People needed to learn to differentiate between a compliment and a fact.

"Got it," Kageyama answered, still sitting on the floor in a daze. "Thank you. For... all of it."

"Don't mention it," Tsukishima sighed. "Really, don't. If I hear anybody talking about this, you'll regret it."

"I don't doubt it," he said, but Tsukishima could see he was trying not to smile. Bastard.

IV

"You're getting good at this!" Daichi exclaimed as he bumped the ball back to Tsukishima. It was his idea for him to practice receives more, since Tsukishima was a little weak in that area. Tsukishima surprised himself by saying yes. It was a cold day in hell when he signed himself up for extra work.

"I sure hope so. We've been doing this for an hour," he replied, hitting it overhand. "How much longer do I need to keep at this?"

"We should be basically done," Daichi said, catching the ball. "You don't need to keep reminding me how much you hate practicing."

Alright, maybe Tsukishima was being a little overkill about his dislike of volleyball. Still, it wasn't as if it was a secret.

"Aye aye, captain," he said, retrieving his bag from the corner. See you tomorrow."

"Wait."

This was new. Normally, once they finished, Tsukishima was home free. He was halfway through putting on his headphones as he uttered the syllable. Still, captain's orders were volleyball law, so he waited. Besides, he was intrigued to see what he had to say.

"I need your help with something. C'mere a sec." Tsukishima obliged, putting his stuff back down. He was acting more out of curiosity than anything, since he was the last person anyone came to for help. His mind flashed to that scene with Kageyama, and his blood boiled. _That little snitch._

But Daichi didn't bring that up at all. Instead, he took out a roster of all of the players on the team.

"Coach Ukai told me to start looking at our starting lineup to see if I want to make any changes before we head to the spring tournament. Since you're always analyzing everybody, I was wondering if you could help me out with it."

Analyzing was a nicer word for judging, which was what Tsukishima _actually _did during practices. He never viewed it as a positive thing, more like additional ammo to throw at them in case they got on his nerves. Still, he could see what Daichi was talking about, and leaned in to get a better view of the roster.

The starting lineup was pretty basic. Nishinoya, of course, as their only libero. Asahi, since he was the ace. Daichi too, as their backbone. None of these were surprising or up for debate.

Tsukishima was surprised to see himself on the lineup, and a little bit of pride filled his chest before he brushed it aside. There was no time for needless self pride, although he made a mental note to tell Akiteru about it when he got home. He'd be pleased about it, for sure.

The other two people were Tanaka and Kageyama. Tanaka was an aggressive attacker, and one of their main point scorers, so he would be essential too. The only person that really stood up for debate was...

"You want me to tell you if Sugawara should replace Kageyama or not," he said. It wasn't a question.

Daichi hesitated, then nodded. "I know they're both capable setters in their own ways, so I'm looking for a second opinion on how I should place them."

Tsukishima was more than a little confused, but did his best not to show it. Instead, he did what he always did best: analyze the situation for the unknown variable. The unknown, in this case, being why _anyone _would consider putting Sugawara in instead of Kageyama.

"It's not a matter of talent," he thought out loud, sitting down on the floor. "Otherwise Kageyama wins by multitudes. Sugawara has the compatibility with you third years, but at this stage in practice, he's not ahead by much. He's good enough to be the automatic back-up, I know that for sure. This shouldn't be a conversation we're having. It never looked like you gave second thoughts before."

Daichi sat down beside him, staring at his hands. "As always, Tsukishima, your powers of observation are on point."

"Does that mean that I'm correct? Something changed?"

"Me and Suga are going out. It started last week."

Tsukishima didn't expect this answer, although he couldn't be surprised that it did happen. Only the dumbest of the dumb - or most of the volleyball team - could be oblivious to the way they stared at each other. No, that wasn't the startling part.

"You would be willing to trade setters mid season because it's your _boyfriend?_" Tsukishima asked, more than a little disgusted. He didn't care about the sport much, but everyone else on the team did, including Daichi. He probably cared most of all, and that was including Hinata, who slept in his jersey (as overheard in a conversation between him and Kageyama). It didn't seem like Daichi to do something so selfish.

Then again, if Tsukishima had any power on the team, who's to say he wouldn't let Tadashi serve for a couple of extra sets? It didn't make him a better person, but Tsukishima could understand Daichi's struggle, at least.

"You probably think I'm an awful person for even asking," he said, as if reading his thoughts. He placed his head between his knees. "Logically, I know that Kageyama is our best setter, by a lot. But you don't see how Suga gets when he spends a whole set on the sidelines. He's plenty as good as setters on other teams, definitely up there. He could help us win. Not to mention it's his last year playing. What's the point if he never gets to be out there with the rest of us?"

He caught the look that Tsukishima was sending him and shook his head. "Idiotic, I know. I shouldn't have come to you for anything but an honest answer, and that's what I got in the end."

He stood up to leave, but Tsukishima wasn't done with the conversation, and he hated to be interrupted, especially with self pity. He grabbed onto Daichi's ankle, keeping him in place.

"It's not a good idea," he started without waiting for Daichi to turn around. "Sugawara will know you're responsible, especially since you just started dating." Daichi nodded, like he was only repeating what he already knew.

"But you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. It was a nice gesture. Stupid, yeah, but nice. You shouldn't go through with it, but the effort matters a little, right? And besides, he gets plenty of action in the games, and he seems pretty overjoyed about it. As overjoyed as the rest of you volleyball idiots get, anyway."

He let go of Daichi's ankle, rubbing his hands on his shorts. It was a weird move, now that he thought about it, but he couldn't have their captain being all weird at practice. The rest of the team definitely owed him one.

"You're probably right," Daichi said, turning to face him, and Tsukishima could see that he seemed to accept it. "Thank you. You're kind of--"

"Blah blah blah, I can't hear you, my headphones are already in," he said, plugging them into his phone. "Whatever you have to say, you'll have to say it at a later time. See you later, captain." He stood up, walking past him out the gym door. Daichi looked amused, but didn't finish his sentence, which was all Tsukishima needed. If he didn't say it out loud, it was as if it never happened.

+1

Anybody who knew Tsukishima could probably guess that he would hate a surprise party more than anything on the planet. So of course it was the person who knew him best who threw it.

"Surprise! Happy birthday!" Tadashi shouted, along with a couple of other voices, as Tsukishima entered the gym. He should've been suspicious when he saw the lights were off and no one was there, but hindsight is twenty twenty. He only had a couple of seconds to get out before-

"Noooooo, don't leave," Hinata whined, grabbing onto one of his arms. "Yamaguchi was planning this all day. You have to stay for cake at least."

"He's right," Tanaka said, already halfway through a slice. _I didn't show up until five seconds ago. When did he get himself cake?_

"Just a couple of minutes," Tadashi said softly, and Tsukishima could feel his will softening. He let Tadashi lead him to the cake table, scowling at anyone he could see, which turned out to be a lot of people. Everyone on the Karasuno volleyball team, plus a couple of people from other teams like Nekoma and Fukurodani. He was even sure he saw Oikawa talking to someone in a corner, which was weird because he couldn't remember ever even speaking to Oikawa, but he didn't plan on staying long anyway.

"How long did this take you to plan?" he asked Tadashi, who stayed by his side the whole time.

"Um, well the part that took the longest was trying to find a day that would suit everyone, with the overlapping practice and everything. Hinata had everyone's contacts, so I invited them over text, and we worked something out. Then I just needed to buy the cake and streamers and stuff. Tanaka and Noya helped me set up, so it didn't take that long."

Tsukishima stared at him, shaking his head. "You didn't need to go through all of that, you know. Akiteru said he'd pick me up from school today, but I'll tell him to come later so I can help clean-"

"Did somebody say my name?"

Tsukishima didn't even need to turn around. "You invited my brother?" he asked, facing Tadashi instead. Only then did he send a backwards glance over his shoulder. "And I'm sure you have nothing better to do than to go to the birthday party of your first year brother. What happened to college?"

Akiteru shrugged. "Yamaguchi invited me, and I didn't have any other plans tonight. Besides, it's not every day that I get to see you interacting with your friends."

"Nobody in this room is my friend. They're all dead to me now."

"Don't be rude, Tsukki," Tadashi said, and Tsukishima patted his head. "We're dating, so you don't count."

"Yeah Tsukki, don't be mean to us." Nekoma's captain, Kuroo. Tsukishima recognized the snark in his voice immediately, since it was the closest that came to his own. Tsukishima hadn't seen him since their last practice game, but it was obvious that he didn't change a bit in the time they were apart.

"Don't call me Tsukki," he said, hands in his pockets. "And isn't it a far drive all the way from Tokyo? You _really_ shouldn't have come all this way."

"Nah, it's alright," Kuroo said, waving his hand in a 'could care less' gesture. "Me, Bokuto, Akaashi, Lev, and Kenma all drove together. We got dismissed for 'volleyball related reasons'." He made air quotes with his hands, and Tsukishima barely kept from rolling his eyes. "Speaking of which, where's Kenma?"

"Down here," he heard a voice say, and they both looked down to see Kenma sitting next to the table, eyes glued to a gaming console. While Kuroo tried to wrestle it from him, Tsukishima made his escape. 

He was stopped at the door, however, by Bokuto himself. 

"Hey hey hey, first year!" he shouted, grabbing Tsukishima in a headlock and almost knocking his glasses off. "Pretty nice party here. Tell Yamaguchi I say thanks for inviting me. Anything to miss class, right?"

"You can tell him yourself. I'm out of here," Tsukishima replied, wrestling himself out of his arm. He fixed his glasses on his face and continued his trek out. He'd come back later to help clean up. Bokuto stared after him, but ultimately his attention was grabbed by Akaashi, who was _begging _to have his face smashed into the cake. 

As Tsukishima walked down the walkway out of the gym, he turned back multiple times, expecting to be stopped by someone or another. But he was all the way by the school gates when he realized no one was coming after him.

_So this is what true peace feels like. Maybe I'll finally get to listen to my music without someone talking over it._

He turned on his go-to playlist and sat down on the curb, closing his eyes. The music washed over him, and he enjoyed it for a good five seconds before he realized something was bugging him. He went through all of his songs, facing the same problem with each one. They were all too quiet. Nothing made him want to get up and do something, or fill him with any kind of purpose. They were just empty noise to him now.

He thought back to the party, where everyone was undoubtedly doing something loud and stupid. He could imagine Nishinoya trying to start a food fight, or Asahi knocking over the decorations and getting streamers everywhere. Hinata and Kageyama were definitely arguing over something, he could feel it. And Tadashi... well, Tsukishima never knew what he did when he wasn't around. Maybe he was talking to some of their other team members.

Or maybe he was sitting alone, like Tsukishima was doing now.

His mind made up, Tsukishima stood to his feet, folding his headphones and putting them back in his bag. He had a party to endure.

When he came back, nobody mentioned his disappearing, although he got a couple of backwards glances as he made his way across the room. Eventually he reached the snack table, where Tadashi was staring at the chips. Tsukishima knew he wasn't really interested, because it was a trick he taught Tadashi himself. If you stare long enough at food, people will just think you're deliberating on what to eat, and not try to talk to you. Evidently, they used it differently. 

Tsukishima tried to think of something to say, but in the end opted to just tap him on the arm. Tadashi spun around, almost bumping into Tsukishima, who caught him by the shoulders.

"Oh. You're back," he said, and it was relief tainted with something bitter. Tsukishima didn't like the sound of it at all.

"Couldn't let the party go to waste, right?" he said. "You probably didn't even realize I was missing."

He didn't mean it as an accusation, but Tadashi took it like that anyway. "Of course I noticed, Tsukki. I looked all over for you, and when Bokuto told me you left, I had half a mind to run after you. But I didn't want to force you to come back to something you didn't even want, just for my sake."

Tsukishima silently cursed the Fukurodani captain for bringing this upon him, but he knew it was his fault for leaving in the first place. If there was only one person in the room he cared about - that wasn't related to him - he was standing right in front of him.

"Parties aren't my thing," he said, which was the understatement of the century, "but I can tell this is a good one. Everyone's being their normal dumb selves. Look, Hinata taped a party hat to the back of Kageyama's head. You can tell when they're having fun because that's when they make their most idiotic decisions." 

Tadashi grinned slightly, but didn't look over at the arguably hilarious scene where Tsukishima was pointing. Instead, he kept his eyes trained on Tsukishima's. 

"You don't have to keep my efforts in mind. If you want to leave, I won't hold it against you, and neither will anyone else."

"I don't care about what anyone else thinks of me," Tsukishima lied. "But I'm staying wherever you are. And if you want to hang out with the guy who blocks with his head more than his hands, then I'll be right at your side, silently judging your judgement of character."

Tadashi's smile grew, until it covered his entire face. "I have a good enough judge of character, judging by the fact that I'm here with you." And Tsukishima was so overcome by the situation, he didn't even call Tadashi out on how cheesy that line was.

"Actually, I think this is the best proof that you have the worst judgement in this room," Tsukishima smirked. "Ask anybody. I'm a menace."

"Nah, I have the nicest boyfriend on the planet, when he decides not to be an asshole," Tadashi said, beaming, and Tsukishima couldn't bring himself to correct him.

**Author's Note:**

> Currently rewatching hq from the start and literally every second is the funniest thing ever. No high stakes games, no nail biting anticipation. Just a couple of kids yelling at each other over volleyball. Beautiful.
> 
> If you liked it, leave a comment and I'll shave it into the side of my hair.
> 
> tumblr: laurenshappenstobemyhusband


End file.
